By: Dr. Gerald Anthony, SENIA-Beijing
Imagine any of these situations: the teenager responds only after the eighth time of repeating a request. A student in the classroom is unresponsive to instruction. A spouse has still not done that home-based project for months.
Here we have three different situations with the same result – non-responsiveness. In these unique times where it is easy to focus on the external world and the issues that we cannot control, it is important to remember that there are things we can control. One of these things that we can control is not forgetting our humanity. In each of the previous three situations, a touch of humanity in a simple acronym - Connect to People then Redirect them(CPR) can help break down these stagnant walls of non-responsiveness.
Connect
Before wanting to get a person moving in a new direction to accomplish something, the groundwork must be laid down first. The groundwork includes knowing about the person. This is not simply knowing things such as the person’s name but knowing about some key, intricate facts and drivers for the individual. As a parent this means thinking of recent interest and hobbies and not what they liked when they were a toddler. As a teacher, this means knowing what they are recently learning and engaging with in their current learning environment. As a spouse this is knowing about the present life of your partner and not the things that they loved when the two of you were honeymooners.
If knowing about current relevant information, there is now a possibility to connect with the individual. If knowing only about things in the distant past, it may bring a connection, but the connection will likely be much deeper and relevant if knowing about matters concerning the individual’s present. Remember the classic quotation from Theodore Roosevelt, “People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
People
One other factor to consider after knowing about an individual’s interest and intricate facts is knowing about the temperament and communicative orientation of the individual. This is key because the temperament will give you a good idea of how to approach the individual and get in the correct domain or “ballpark.” There are a great deal of personality and temperament assortments that anyone can easily access, but for simplicity one can use a two spectrum scale of task versus people orientation and ask versus tell orientation. This creates a quadrant of four “playing fields.”
The first quadrant, the individual with an asking temperament coupled with a task orientation is likely very analytical, preferring facts and statistics. An individual in quadrant two, is a combination of an asking temperament with a people orientation. This individual is likely to be very mindful of others and conflict adverse. An individual that is task oriented with a telling temperament may come off as confrontational but is largely interested in achieving results. Finally, an individual with a telling temperament and people orientation is likely a big picture individual. Knowing which of these four quadrants the individual you are looking to connect with along with those tools from the connect step gives you a powerful base to complete the last part of the process.
Redirect
Since a connection is now established and reinforced, it is a great time to practice the last step of redirect. This is where the moving can take place. That request to the teenager can be mentioned, or that classroom instruction can be modeled and then invited to be completed. The spouse can at this moment mention that home project that with a gentle request. Redirecting after the connection and understanding of the person now gives change meaning to both the requester and the person doing the action.
As we head back to new routines in the fall, times may be different from before, but we as human beings are still the same. Don’t forget the CPR – Connect to People then Redirect them to something greater. In the end we all want to keep moving in the right direction.
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